Thursday, 21 April 2011

Crossroads

There are many cross roads in life. Sometimes the decisions you make during these cross roads determine your fate for the rest of your life. These few weeks have been a tug of war of emotions for me. One day i'm happy. One day i'm scared. One day i'm doubting myself. One day i feel optimistic that everything will be okay. Tell me how do so many people do this?

It's definitely trying. I'm probably most scared of the unknown. Will i get violent headaches the moment i stare into a microscope? (I've gotta go check out at my local lab first) How do i drive in the most notorious roads in Malaysia? Where will i be placed? Can i pass exams? (I gotta i gotta) And the biggest question of all.. how long will i be away from my husband and what detrimental effects will it have on me?

My husband and i have established a rather symbiotic relationship. At the risk of sounding lame and corny, we need each other to  survive. Okay i don't mean we NEED each other, it's just that we give each other a lot of emotional stability. We balance each other, we are outlets to vent frustrations, we bring things into perspective, i clean sometimes, he drives all the time, i bring him food...

Being apart for a short period like a year is okay, but 4 years is just pushing it. Hopefully things will work out.

What i've come to realize is that there is no point in planning too far ahead. We've just gotta do it and see where it leads us.

I'm glad i'm in Jb clearing my head. The biggest reason i'm trying for this is my family. But then my dad told me 'Our ancestors came to Malaysia from China because there was no work back home. Now you people have work.. so why the problem? Whatever work just do it.'

Ha ha ha that is one persperctive i really did not think about.

I should feel really lucky i have a job.

How is it all going to turn out, i really do not know yet. Somehow i feel now that i should have opted for the closed system just for my hubby's sake.

Whatever it is, i'm waiting for the letter to tell me my next move.

2 comments:

Taehreh said...

I know how you feel.. my boyfriend is moving away for a year soon. Not as long as 4, I know.. but I'm still sad.

Have an internet hug though *hug*

saltvinegar said...

omg i seriously thought you were my friend Tahirah who is also facing the same prob we have.

Dun be sad. 1 year is fast. Think about it, almost half the year is gone already.

*hug*

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